Monday, September 8, 2014

THOSE HEROIC WOGS DOWN UNDER-- ANZAC SOLDIERS


Nothing needs to be added to Slim Dusty's song:




Friday, May 16, 2014

MAMBA ! ! ! ! ALL EXPATRIATE AFRICAN WOGS UNDERSTAND


These people in Swaziland are amazing. I grew up in Africa, and one of the most terrifying cries to hear is someone yelling, "MAMBA"!

Where I live in Tanzania and Kenya, we have the black and the green mamba, and both were deadly of course. We did not see nearly as many as these people do in South Africa.



Please remember that fully two thirds of the people bitten by poisonous snakes were trying to kill them. In the US the rattle snake has a limited striking distance, but he has long fangs. In Australia there are many poisonous snakes, but they have short fangs which does reduce the seriousness of strikes where any clothing is worn. But, the Aussie snakes are very deadly.

If you want to be prepared for snake bite, research the common idea of suction after a snake bite. The venom flows through the lymph system, not the blood system. So, bleeding is suspect at best. A special stretch bandage is preferred which is available online.

Brand name, Setopress.

INSTRUCTION FOR USE

SECOND SITE

I bought a suction device that was highly recommended, but later I read research from Australia and from California that found it only drew out 2% of the venom. The sales pitch claims up to 80%. The research made me very skeptical, so we have the pressure bandage and the suction device. If you can get to a hospital in reasonable time, I would strongly suggest bypassing the suction method and apply the pressure bandage and go straight to ER.

Reviews on Amazon and elsewhere are not from people who were bitten and used the suction device. They are from people who bought it and were impressed by the cleverness and ease of use. So was I, but I had to admit that and decide to go with the research.

If you are bitten, call for help, and try not to panic or run or rub the limb.  That will only move the poison to be absorbed faster. In the US wear snake chaps when wandering in the woods or working there. In Africa the chaps would help, but the mambas and cobras often strike high.

Keep watching.




Thursday, December 19, 2013

AUZZIE READERS- MUSIC FOR YOU SUMMERTIME


Out of the colonial past.....

We're having a hear wave..... 

Tommy Emmanuel




She certainly can, can can


Friday, August 3, 2012

FLASH MOB, INDIA STYLE


With India's population, a flash mob like this could get clear out of control. Can you imagine if the music lasted three hours..... the whole population of Gujarat could end up in the thing the way they kept crawling out of the woodwork.

INDIA TO LAUNCH SATELLITES



HERE IS THE STORY


But, the article fails to reveal with most urgent reason for the surveillance satellites. It seems the Tiffin Wallahs of Mumbai are suspected of smuggling fake currency printed in Pakistan. The tiffin wallahs are buying the fake cash at a great discount, raising the price, but still at a considerable discount, and selling it to make up the shortfall in funds for General VK Singh in the latest allocations from the Ministry of Defense to the Army.


So, why watch the Tiffin Wallahs? Well, there has never been a loss of cash in millions of deliveries of fake money stashes under the curry pot.


It seems that the Tiffin Wallahs have minimum delivery errors that are famous worldwide. They only make three mistakes in one million deliveries. This means that it will be virtually impossible to lose cash (into deep pockets) in the transactions and blame them on inflation and mismanagement.


The satellites are not meant to catch the Tiffin Wallahs. The Government wants to learn how they find politicians so well at midday without GPS devices. It is thought that Tiffin Wallahs may be used in Military operations in tanks to find the enemy. Of course, if there is a pot of curry involved, the enemy may simply surrender to get a good home made curry dinner.


Now, where else on the web can you read such priceless earth shaking news. Where can you curry favor in this way and get away with it?


Not to worry.



Wednesday, March 14, 2012

THE BUMS WIN


The police, city employees, and school teachers of Trenton, New Jersey, were down to their last wipe the other day. 


The Health Department, the other day, ordered the city to shut down all public buildings when the toilet paper ran out. It seems that the budget will not handle the bottom line of modern civilization. 

There is the odor of crisis in the air. 


But, you will be pleased to know that PETA, the animal rights people, have come from behind and offered a six month supply of TP if their selected message can be printed on it. The city mayor was very pleased to accept the offer and supply all city offices with the PETA TP.


The message reads, 
"Slaughterhouses are so filthy that more than half of all meat is contaminated with fecal bacteria." 
This seems to be a very good concept, for it solves two things-- 

One, exposing this fact may result in our beef not being marinated in poo, and.... 

Two, it may also prevent beef shortages as city employees consider this message before buying beef.


Now, you may be wondering why this is on Expatiate Wog blog.  I just thought our British friends would like to see how the Colonies have progressed since we won our independence.